Withdrawal

   The summer is winding down. The sunshine is slowly slipping away and the inevitable "later" has arrived. This was supposed to be the time when I was working full time and saving money. Instead, I'm stuck searching for jobs - just waiting for someone to call me back. Reading my friend's excited posts about University to pass the time.

"Unhappiness does not come from the way things are, but from the difference between how things are and how we think they should be"

— Creflo Dollar

   Self pity is an ugly thing, but it's building up inside me without my consent. It seems as though my peers are rushing by me on their way to success as I am pinned to the wall. My stomach gets tangled at the thought that I am missing out. My heart begins to race as I think of how it would feel to be in sync with "everyone." I want what "everyone else" has. 

  Quite possibly I have too much time to think these days, but I feel as if so many of my friends have advantages over me. I want to go to University. I want financial assistance. I feel as if I have to face this alone. Which is only amplified by feeling that everyone else is getting help. I feel doubly alone.

"All growing up means is that you realize no one will come along to fix things. No one will come along to save you."

— Elizabeth Scott

"I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias."

— Maya Angelou

   So, yes, I am frustrated that I have to work and work for things that a lot of my peers take for granted anyways. However, I am grateful for what I do have. I am grateful for the lessons I've learned and am learning. I am thankful for my work ethic and can-do attitude. I have learned that if I want something, I can go and get it. So, this frustration might pay off in the end anyways. I have my dreams and I will achieve them. I have a plan. It's not an easy plan, but if I stick with it, I'll reach my destination. Everyone has different valleys and hills on their road to success; I just need to keep moving forward.
   Right now, life just looks like a pretty big mountain to climb.

"The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. work is the key to success, and hard work can help you accomplish anything." 

— Vince Lombardi 

"Imagine yourself filled with JOY. Now keep that thought & it will COME TRUE" 
— Kay Foley 

   But it's climbable.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

-Philippians 4:13

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew {their} strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; {and} they shall walk, and not faint.

-Isaiah 40:31